Regarding My Faults

My oldest sister came to visit me over the 4th of July weekend; she was attending some conference in DC so she decided to spend the holiday with me. We ate together and hung out with some of her friends and then watched the fireworks at the National Mall. It was a fun 4th of July filled with deep conversations.

When I reflect on that weekend, a few things come to mind. One thing is that sometimes my sister knows me better than I do which actually makes sense because she has known me since I was a baby and my memories only go back to when I was six. Anyways, the reason why I say that my sister knows me very well is because of the adjectives she used to describe me when we were conversing. She called me narrow-minded, stubborn, and selfish.

Of course hearing this was displeasing so I started to defend myself. But upon further reflection, I do admit that there is some truth to what she said.

First of all, I should say that I do not believe I am narrow-minded. On the contrary, I feel that I am very open to new ideas. As long as the other person can logically make their argument, they will be able to convince me of their position.

Regarding stubbornness, I think there is truth to that. I believe I am stubborn when it comes to principle. I put a lot of thought into my strong beliefs and therefore, it would be difficult for someone else to change my mind unless they were very logical and moral. So yes, I suppose that makes me stubborn, but I do not think that the way I am stubborn is necessarily a bad thing.

Since I spend much of my time trying to live a moral life, the third adjective she used to describe me displeased me the most. She brought up this word because she knew that I determine my actions based on what I think and not what other people think, which is a very true statement. For example, if my parents' friends were hosting an event and my parents wanted me to come, I would probably just wear whatever I was wearing that day to the event. But my parents would probably want me to dress up nicely so that I would look presentable. However, my belief in the unimportance of appearance would make me reluctant to do so, even if this were to anger my parents.

Having said that, I believe the reason I would refuse to dress up nicely is not because of selfishness, but because of my failure to weigh the cost and benefits. I am a person who focuses strongly on morality, but sometimes this focus leads me away from other things I should be considering. It may very well be worth it to break my belief in order to please my parents. Weighing the cost and benefits is a skill that I should master and it is one that I want to master. Therefore, I do admit that my problem is failing to consider multiple principles simultaneously.

The last thing that I want to mention is that since I began to live in DC, I have really come to appreciate eating out; it is a luxury that I took for granted too often before. I hope I continue to live modestly for as long as possible so that I may truly appreciate my comfortable life.