As I sit here in front of my computer, I tell myself that everything will be alright, trying to comfort my mind from the mysterious future. I don't know what will happen and it makes me uneasy, but I need to believe that I will do what I'm meant to do. I believe in destiny, or I want to believe in it, I'm not sure which. I usually don't say that I'm a man of faith, but does believing in fate mean that I am? Maybe not, I don't think God has a plan for me. I think I gave myself a purpose and because I created it, I have a destiny.

Chasing My Dream

There is a city in the Netherlands called Venlo that's supposedly the first city to implement Cradle to Cradle (or at least trying to). I contacted their mayor to ask if they were offering any internships. This was his response:

Thank you for your e-mail request. I am not sure if we can offer you anything, however I am interested in your ambitions and would like to find out a little bit more about you and see if anything may arise from that. If that agrees with you, I suggest you make an appointment to come and see me in Venlo and we'll take it from there.

At first I responded by saying that it was inconvenient for me to travel to Venlo just for an interview, but now I'm considering it. I asked him if he would be willing to have an interview over the phone but he didn't respond after a few days so I took it as his unwillingness. So here's the email I just sent him today.

I assume that your lack of response means that you are unwilling to have a interview over the phone.

To be honest with you, there is nothing else I would rather do than work on C2C. And if traveling to Venlo to meet you is the only chance I have of doing so, then I will do it. Let me try to figure out how I will get there and then I'll make an appointment with you. Is that ok?

This is very important to me.

All I have to do now is to confirm an appointment with the mayor and figure out all the logistics.

It's difficult to explain what I'm feeling currently; it seems to be a mixture of nervousness, excitement and desperation. Everyone has been telling me to go meet the mayor and I think I should as well, but I'm just afraid of being denied the opportunity after putting in all the effort of going there. Nevertheless, I think I should take the chance because if I go, I would literally be chasing after my dream and I can't think of any other way I would rather live my life.

A Chain of New Experiences

Last week, I traveled to Denmark with three of my friends because one of their families owns a farm there and I thought it would be an interesting experience. I was right. I have to call last week's experience “A Chain of New Experiences”, if I were to give it a name that is. The first new thing I experienced was hitchhiking 400 km. Because it was the four of us, we split up into two teams and then decided to have a race to see who would arrive in Denmark first. Some of it was how I imagined and some of it wasn't. We did stand on the side of the road with our thumbs up, but we also went to gas stations to ask people to give us a ride when they were filling up their tanks. Well, I should say Tau asked people at gas stations; I still have the problem of approaching strangers in those kind of situations. Hitchhiking took the whole day, I thought we had to sleep at a gas station, but in the end it worked out and we arrived around midnight. The people who picked us up were all very nice and all had previously hitchhiked themselves, all of them men. I assume women are too afraid to pick up hitchhikers.

The second new thing I experienced was being on a farm. It's actually quite ridiculous for my not being on a farm before knowing that California has many farms and that Cerritos used to be one as well, but it's true. The family also raised pigs and the smell was noticeable right when I got out of the car. Luckily enough, I saw my friend and his family loading pigs into a big truck the next morning. I looked through the window of one of the pig stables and didn't think it was very brutal, but I haven't done any research on animal farming. They said that it's illegal to give the pigs hormones in Denmark which makes me think the farming laws in Denmark are pretty strict. In addition, I spoke with my friend's dad about agriculture and organic farming. It turns out that farmers in Denmark are like doctors, they have to go to school for 6 years. Another new thing I experienced that belongs in this section was riding a tractor. I woke up early in the morning because they said one of their employees was going to plow the field and I wanted to sit in the tractor with him. It was very interesting even though it lasted for only 10 minutes. I always thought that there was a machine that turned when farmers plowed their fields, but instead there's just this crescent shaped metal thing that's dragged through the soil and the momentum from the tractor is enough so that the soil turns over.

The third new thing I did was hug a wind turbine. Actually, as we were on the road towards Denmark, I saw many wind farms, which was amazing to me; they're much larger than people think. So there was a wind turbine near my friend's farm and he said we could actually walk up to it and touch it. One of the things that I wanted to do before I die was hug a wind turbine, so I thought this would be the perfect opportunity. The next evening we walked to it; it took about 10 minutes and it was just in the middle of a field. The wind turbine makes a little noise when it spins and when we were standing right below the rotor blades, I heard some sort of swoosh noise which I assume is produced from the blades cutting through the air.

In short, I learned and experienced many new things during the trip, which is surprising because it was only a few days. I realize now even more that I'm too disconnected with nature. I have no idea where food comes from; I am completely disconnected from the process.

MLK Jr. on Civil Disobedience

I say to you, this morning, that if you have never found something so dear and precious to you that you will die for it, then you aren’t fit to live.

You may be 38 years old, as I happen to be, and one day, some great opportunity stands before you and calls upon you to stand for some great principle, some great issue, some great cause. And you refuse to do it because you are afraid.

You refuse to do it because you want to live longer. You’re afraid that you will lose your job, or you are afraid that you will be criticized or that you will lose your popularity, or you’re afraid that somebody will stab or shoot or bomb your house. So you refuse to take a stand.

Well, you may go on and live until you are ninety, but you are just as dead at 38 as you would be at ninety.

And the cessation of breathing in your life is but the belated announcement of an earlier death of the spirit.

You died when you refused to stand up for right.

You died when you refused to stand up for truth.

You died when you refused to stand up for justice.